Going Under
by TheSleeplessPrime
Summary: A songfic reflecting how Starscream feels after so many beatings from Megatron, his cruel master


Going Under

A/N: This was kinda inspired by Going Under by Evanescence, I've no idea what you'll make of it but here ya go!

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><p><em>Now I will tell you what I've done for you<em>

Primus was so cruel; he had no idea on the kind of pain he was putting him through. Everyday was an uphill struggle just to keep himself sane and make himself look like nothing was and ever had been wrong. He had continuously lived through the constant, never-ending beatings from his master, he survived until the next beating and the next and the next and the next.

_50 thousand tears I've cried._

He had cried so many tears of pain, insanity and loss of control. His never-ending grievance and never-ending pain and torture consuming him most nights, insanity and rage the rest. The Seeker was finally at his wits' end. He could take no more, the pain and agony he had lived with for thousands of millions of years of his lifecycle was finally catching up to him.

_Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you_

He would scream his master's name in the dead of night when no Decepticon was around to hear him scream; when not even a valiant Autobot who bore the crimson symbol, the symbol that stood for everything righteous and just, the symbol that was a sign of peace and future prosperity among Cybertronians. No, not even they would come to his aid and save him from the living nightmare. But wasn't that what the Autobots did? Weren't **they** the ones who freed twisted and broken mechs and repaired those who lay like broken toys on the charred pits of the universe's bedroom floor? Nothing made sense anymore, the whole universe was caving in on itself and the whole of reality was warping to his cruel master's image, the righteous and just becoming more and more evil by the second and the evil and terrible becoming more and more kind by the minute. All of them, except for his master.

_And you still won't hear me._

Primus wouldn't help the broken Seeker, not even when he begged with his entire spark to be rid of this life he lived. But that was the thing, he didn't live his life; he was like one the living dead that could find no way of gaining access into Primus' heavenly realms so he remained in The Between Space, suffering daily, haunting and not haunting those who shattered him and bent him and damaged him beyond any form of repair. But what was worse was the fact that his master never listened to his Seeker's pleading tones, his begging for mercy or any of his promises. He just never listened.

_I'm going under_

Reality was broken and dying and there was nothing the Seeker could do about it. His master crushing it like fear's icy cold claws would crush any hope that dwindled in any creature. Fear would swipe any positive blocks underneath anyone and claim for his own, to kill or rape or murder or torture at his leisure. Just like his master, Megatron. Megatron would kill, rape, murder and torture his little Seeker Second In Command until Hook was needed to help the torn mess rebuild itself. He was then expected to come crawling back to Megatron for more. Or at least, that's what Megatron expected.

_Drowning in you_

Megatron was like the vast azure-blue ocean of this fragile world, he would come in and catch anyone out flooding, overwhelming them and then he would sweep out, his blanket of Hell trailing ever-faithfully after him as the pour, unfortunate souls were drowned even after they had served him loyally after millions of years.

_I'm falling forever_

Megatron had once taught his Seeker a lesson, by disabling his flight power and throwing him down to the Earth's surface at thousands of feet up; the Seeker then understood how the 'ground-pounders' felt with their lack of ability to fly, he could only try to brace himself against the impact that inevitably shatter him into a million pieces. He fell like an angel falling from Primus' Realms, cast out, exiled for simply trying to be true to himself. And that was all he was trying to do, be true to himself but he could never do so. Megatron always punished him for it and whenever his trinemates tried to make everything better, they only made it worse by causing him to be isolated by Megatron and punished more. He couldn't take it any more.

_I've got to break through_

There was just no way he could break through to Megatron's "generous" side, no, the vicious side always beat the life out of him before he could even try. He had tried being nice, that didn't work. He had tried not to kill Megatron, that didn't work either. He then tried to stay out of his brutal master's way but sooner or later Megatron found him and beat him. The Seeker felt useless when this happened, there were times when his spark was going exhaust itself from the strain. Everyday was stealing all his energy from him; he couldn't feel the freedom of the skies passing over his wings, he couldn't' feel the adrenalin whenever he was out in the wide-open space of the skies that surrounded him. It worried him, he frantically worried that he was gradually becoming a ground-pounder. He was genuinely worried for himself, all his friends and enemies could fly in his faction and he would be a grounded Seeker if he became a ground-pounder. He would eventually snap under the teasing and mocking he'd have to put up with. He'd break.

He had to end it. He had to. There was no choice, no alternative. Seekers were as good as dead if they couldn't fly and his wings were like lead in comparison to his trinemates'. He raised the null ray to his helm. He thought of all the times his wit had been snapped like a matchstick, all the times he had nearly been put out of his misery, all the times he had been mocked and teased by his so-called "friends". He thought of all the times Megatron had tried to force interface on him, all the times Megatron had threatened him to bond with him, all the times Megatron nearly killed him out of cold blood. It made his spark wrench, the thought of it all. He remembered the nightmares he'd had; one was particularly nasty. It made him wake up at midnight, screaming bloody murder at the confines of his room. Megatron had come running in and tried to shut him up but failed. His master nearly shot him on the spot where he lay, broken like a doll. But he didn't. The Seeker remembered all the good times he'd had since coming to this measly planet, or he tried to. Nothing good had come from crashing on the worthless planet they called Earth. He powered up the null ray aimed at his helm, out of the corner of his optic he could see the warm pink glow of the weapon. But he could see something else; it was a silhouette against the cool lighting of the corridor. It was stood in the doorway. As it moved further into the room, he could see it was his master, Megatron. His lips moved soundlessly as his little Seeker prepared to fire. Megatron hurled himself forward at the Seeker Second In Command. He could not be heard, his voice muffled by the steady hum of the null ray. The Seeker closed his eyes and fired just as his arm was jerked away… but it was too late. The blast hit home and he slumped into his master's arms. Megatron cried, genuine tears of mourning and grievance as his little Seeker's life slowly ebbed away; the Seeker's chassis greying with every second that passed, his life fading away. The Seeker had been born alone, he had grown up and lived alone and now, he would die alone and uncomforted, still healing from the scars of his past life. Megatron screamed at the song and screamed at the world for stealing his Seeker but he screamed at one person in particular: himself. He was to blame and only now did he see that, only now did he see that after his wonderful Second In Command took his life.

And a single song could be heard playing throughout the darkness, a heavy metal song but it was like a ballad. Its guitar could be heard echoing through the hallowed halls of the Nemesis as the last line was sung, its final words of a newborn song living and then dying. It was a beautiful song but it would haunt Megatron forever, it was his SIC's death song. It was the song that had been playing in the short space of three minutes. And that was all it took for his Seeker, his magnificent Seeker, to take his life.

_I'm going under_

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><p>AN:

I am sorry to any Screamer-lovers out there in the wonderful weird world of fandom but I only had this idea whilst listening to Going Under by Evanescence. If you haven't heard it, then I'm going to suggest you do so you know how the song is structured and stuff. I apologise again to Screamer fans but I didn't do this because I hate Starscream, in fact, I love Starscream too but I couldn't fit any other character as well to the song like Screamer.


End file.
